Hi Deb, everyone… sun going down, have to come inside now, play my cd’s on repeat, as always, can’t handle the silence.
I’m actually just recovering from a major panic attack, haven’t had one that bad in ages. I hate them, but at least I know now they eventually pass, though still scary when you’re by yourself. Decided I deserve a glass of wine, early dinner, early to bed – 3am insomnia awaits me as usual.
I have my last griefline counselling session coming up, it’s been so beneficial for me, wish it could continue. She is a little concerned I will have no other support, other than this forum, so guess you’re stuck with my ramblings. I checked out compassionate friends, but they don’t offer online forums unfortunately.
Yes I’m proud to say I’m still a compagnon/support person for the elderly gentleman. Gets me out of the house and I don’t mind at all if conversations are repeated, he is 90 – means I don’t have to talk about myself yeah, can take on a different idendity briefly.
Because honestly I don’t know who I am anymore, what’s left of me after caring for a sick child for 10yrs + his 3 siblings. Now he’s gone and I don’t know how to live without him xxx