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Reply To: Buried my son on xmas eve

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Home Forums Loss of a loved one Buried my son on xmas eve Reply To: Buried my son on xmas eve


Hi Deb, everyone… sun going down, have to come inside now, play my cd’s on repeat, as always, can’t handle the silence.
I’m actually just recovering from a major panic attack, haven’t had one that bad in ages. I hate them, but at least I know now they eventually pass, though still scary when you’re by yourself. Decided I deserve a glass of wine, early dinner, early to bed – 3am insomnia awaits me as usual.
I have my last griefline counselling session coming up, it’s been so beneficial for me, wish it could continue. She is a little concerned I will have no other support, other than this forum, so guess you’re stuck with my ramblings. I checked out compassionate friends, but they don’t offer online forums unfortunately.
Yes I’m proud to say I’m still a compagnon/support person for the elderly gentleman. Gets me out of the house and I don’t mind at all if conversations are repeated, he is 90 – means I don’t have to talk about myself yeah, can take on a different idendity briefly.
Because honestly I don’t know who I am anymore, what’s left of me after caring for a sick child for 10yrs + his 3 siblings. Now he’s gone and I don’t know how to live without him xxx

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