I just lost my beloved Mum. My last parent. Yes she was an old lady, but I’m embarrassed to say I feel like a child in my grief. She had dementia for 15 years, the last nine in a home. It has taken 5 weeks for me to access my tears, and now I just feel completely lost and alone. I feel like I have lost my rudder. Even though she had dementia I realise I was still drawing my strength from her. My life feels like it is suddenly downsized. I feel embarrassed to feel so needy.