thank you for sharing your story. I know it can feel like we’re all alone and the ‘only one not coping’, and it’s sometimes strange to look up and be brave – as you have – and ask if we’re alone in this, only to find out how many others feel the same. Grief touches us all, and whilst we sometimes think we’re the only ones feeling like we are falling apart and not coping, everybody goes through something like this, at least some of the time. It’s a normal response to such a drastic loss in our lives.
I lost my father when I was 24, having never reconciled after earlier issues. I thought he’d be there forever, and was truly shocked and floored by the loss. I, like you, thought I was alone. One of the most empowering moments for me was being brave enough to stand up and tell others I wasn’t coping, and to have several others admit to the same – I wasn’t alone! If you read the forums here you’ll find others in a similar place; their loss is not the same as yours, all of our losses are unique to us – but their stories and coping mechanisms might help you. I encourage you to reach out to this community, and connect to the others here who can share their stories with you.
You are truly brave to reach out, that’s a strength you should recognise in yourself.
I also recommend taking a good look at the resources available on the Griefline site, for example this page has a lot of great information on coping strategies: https://griefline.org.au/resources/understanding-the-symptoms-of-grief/
Stay in touch Amber, and let us know how you’re doing.