I am so pleased you are reaching out and expressing your feelings about the tragic loss of your daughter at such a young age. We never expect our children to go before us and I cannot begin to imagine how that feels. I can relate to the feelings of not wanting to go on and the inability to enjoy life around you. I had a very dear friend who lost her son at the age of 10 and although she had other sons she too found it so difficult, however in time she was able to move forward and now enjoys the thrill of embracing grandchildren. My own daughter has been very ill and we too have had to face the very real thought of losing her, but she continues to fight for her young family. I have kept a journal and I find that being able to write and express my feelings so helpful. It helps me work through and recognise what feelings I am dealing with. I write about the hard times but also record the many “fun” times we have together.
It will take time, but it will get better. Be kind to yourself.