Dear @tammy87, welcome to the Griefline forums. Our hearts go out to you for your loss and the devastation you have experienced on the sudden passing of your husband.
Firstly, we want to acknowledge your courage in showing up by posting here on the forums. We believe it’s only a glimpse into the courage and strength you must have mustered to get through the past 6 months with your 3 children. We also acknowledge that even though you feel like you’re not ‘not coping at all’, by posting here you applied one of the most important coping skills available to you – reaching out to others for support. We’re so glad you have done so because your grief and loss must be witnessed. As David Kessler says – “we weren’t meant to be an island of grief”. So please feel free to tell us more about your experience of loss – we are here to hold you in your grief.
For more coping strategies please go to the article ‘coping with grief‘ on the Resource Hub. While some of the strategies might be too early for you to access at this stage, others are simple yet effective, like;
– “Adapt your old routines to the changes in your life. Establish new daily routines that ensure you have a healthy diet, good hygiene, adequate sleep, and are attending to your medical care.
– Strengthen your body by reconnecting to it through exercise and movement. This can be low intensity such as a gentle walk, yoga or tai chi or more vigorous such as returning to the gym, running, even dance…there are many ways to move your body.
– Create a safe and comforting space for yourself. This can be in real life or your imagination (try this Positive Experiences mindfulness exercise).
@tammy87, you showed so much bravery in the face of an intensely traumatic situation…being first on the scene and trying to revive your husband is profound. Our Resource Hub also has some information about trauma which you might like to take a look at here. In particular it mentions “Some people find that they are able to work through their traumatic experience with a trusted friend/s or family members who understand or have lived experience. Others may find formal psychological support such as a Counsellor or Psychologist useful in working through what has occurred.” We are wondering whether you feel well supported by professional counselling? If you need assistance with this, please reach out to the Online Community Coordinator and we will do our best to help.
For today, try to show yourself love and kindness by asking yourself, “In what ways can I show myself greater compassion and love today?”. You deserve all of that and more.
And please keep posting…we are here for you. 🌸